In some recent family therapy sessions I have had at least three different conversations with teenagers about finding balance in their lives. Two of the teens were so consumed with academics and extra-curricular activities that they spent no time at all relaxing with family or friends. Another teen was so consumed by her phone that she was afraid to turn the sound off during our session. I threatened to hide her phone until the end of our 50 minutes–yeah, that went over well. So, the questions I’ve been asking often include: “What are you doing for fun? When do you sit around and do nothing? When is the last time you ate a meal with your family? How are your friendships? What will it take to help you find some balance?”
I am a broken record sometimes, and I know it must get old sitting across from me on the couch. So, at the very least I try and live what I am preaching. Yesterday I took the Facebook app back off my phone (after only three weeks with it downloaded) because I realized I was losing some precious hours I wanted to be devoting to work. I also caught myself checking Facebook on the way home from work at a stoplight. Facebook sometimes steals my balance. Go figure. How in the world can I expect teenagers to identify what is getting in their way when it takes me a while to figure it out myself? At least I am able to empathize with my clients because I know this is a hard skill to learn. Not everybody has Maggie’s skills (pictured above), right?
When I am in my groove and feeling pretty well-balanced–I am working the right number of hours a day; walking a few miles a day; sleeping 8 hours; eating well; riding my bike when the sun shines; and seeing friends and family on a regular basis.
What do you need to be doing in order to find balance?
Note to the curious: Maggie (pictured above) is not my client. Maggie is my cousin’s daughter and she is a talented vaulter (the sport of doing acrobatics while on a horse) while also being a super, well-balanced engineering student at Clemson University.